Dieting is bullshhhh...
Chris McEvoy is a columnist that has written for the likes of Mail and Guardian, Women24 and various others. He sometimes writes for Puppet Nation and is known for being rather outspoken in his work. Chris’ most recent article "Dieting is bullshit" is about how people should be able to be healthy but by doing what they want and eating what they want.
Listen to the chat that in a nutshell is all about having a great body but remembering to have a great time and be happy.
Here is Chris's article that was featured on Women24.com:
Dieting is bullshit
Sigh. I was thin once. Heroin-thin without the heroin, when that sort of thing was still cool. And the added bonus was that I could eat whatever I wanted and never gain a centimetre. Which was great, because at that time ‘whatever I wanted’ was mostly beer and cigarettes.
And as it turns out, that was the best diet plan I ever had: being young and not giving a fuck. Awesome. But unbeknown to most young people, we all grow old and suddenly we have to be concerned about the fact that we’ve downed half a bottle of Jägermeister and it’s 3am on a Tuesday.
And things start sagging, or expanding. In short, your body starts hating you.
So at the ripe old age of 35 I decided to stop smoking and drinking. It wasn’t really a diet plan – just a plan to not die. But as it turns out, that was a bad move. I EXPANDED. Chocolates and cake replaced the beer and cigarettes, and in a few short months, for the first time in my life, I had a paunch. The horror!
OK, I hadn’t exactly reached heffalump status – small children weren’t pointing at me in the street (yet), and nobody had actually told me I’d put on weight, but that was beside the point. The fact was, I FELT fat, so to Hell with the facts.
So I embarked on my first proper diet plan ever that promised to have me looking like a ramp model in two months. “Only two months?” I thought. “This is going to be super easy.”
And as anyone who has ever dieted in their life already knows, I was super wrong.
I really should have known better, because I’ve been surrounded by people who have been dieting most of my life – and by people, I mean women. I’m wracking my brains here trying to think of a man I’ve known who went on a diet without being told to by a medical professional, but I’m coming up empty.
But almost all the women I know have dieted – even the really skinny ones (quick aside: I had a good laugh at a friend who got kicked out of Weight Watchers because they thought she was mocking them. She’s built like a broomstick, but genuinely thought she needed to lose some non-existent chub).
It came as little surprise that Women24’s Female Nation Survey revealed that only 31% of respondents have never dieted – and the little surprise was because I thought the figure would be lower. The question is: WHY?
I’m not saying diets don’t work – I’m just saying there’s a MASSIVE disparity between what the diet plan promises and what you eventually get after all that exercise and sacrifice. “Bikini body in six weeks!”; “Ten easy steps to washboard abs!”; “Inject hormones into your ass and burn the fat away while you sleep!” Oh, just blow me, you shameless bunch of liars. You use too many exclamations marks and your pictures are all photoshopped.
My diet promised me the aforementioned abs, so while running and lifting and crunching and measuring frozen berries to blitz into disgusting smoothies, I entertained the fantasy that in a few weeks I’d be able to wander around shirtless without evoking stares of pity.
But of course you already know how this turns out. I ended the diet like most people: pretty much how I started. I was still the not-so-proud owner of one big ab. Sure, I lost some weight and felt healthier, but I had no plans to take my shirt off any time soon.
But you know what’s better than washboard abs? Spaghetti carbonara. Chocolate anything. Half a bottle of Jägermeister at 3am on a Tuesday. In moderation of course! But what’s the point of having a great body if it means you can’t have a great time?