6 Tips on how to cope with grief from a nine-year-old
"I know my dad is in a good place. He's not in pain anymore," nine-year-old Emilia says about her late father, actor James van der Beek.
James van der Beek's wife, Kimberly, has shared a heartwarming video of their nine-year-old daughter, Emilia, explaining how she copes with his death.
James died on February 11 after battling colorectal cancer. He was diagnosed in 2023.
Kimberly posted the Instagram video on what would have been the 'Dawson's Creek' actor's 49th birthday.
"Emilia asked me if she could make a video to post today, walked outside and came back with this," Kimberly wrote on Sunday, March 8.
READ: What is colorectal cancer?
The actor's family and friends all took to social media on Sunday to mark his "heavenly birthday". Emilia, one of his six children, says she wants to share "little tips" to help others get through the grief of a loved one, including their pets.
She jokes that she "stole" her dad's hat, which she wore in the video, noting that it still smells like him.
"I know that he was a good man. A lot of people loved him. People prayed for him. He was loved by many, many hearts and many, many people."
Emilia also thanks everyone who donated to the family's GoFundMe page, which raised over $2.7 million.
"Thank you so much... I am blown away."
6 Tips on how to cope with grief from a nine-year-old:
1. Talk to them
Emilia encourages people to let their emotions out and cry if they have to.
"If you miss them, you can cry... I talk to my dad every day. I start with a sentence, and I say, 'Hi, Dad. I miss you, and I love you so much, and I'll never stop loving you.' And I just tell him about my day. How I'm feeling."
2. Feel them in your heart
Emilia says she also talks to her family about her dad and what she is feeling. The tween adds she might not be able to hear her dad, but he can hear her.
"They're in your heart. They're watching over you. They're a part of your body."
3. They're in a good place
Watching her dad's journey has helped Emilia realise that he is in a better place.
"I know that my dad is in a good place. He's not in pain anymore. He's in heaven - above the clouds with God and the Lord."
4. Don't blame yourself
"Be happy they're in a good place, be sad because you miss them. You can be angry, but don't blame yourself. Blaming yourself is not a good strategy for someone's passing."
5. Losing a pet can be just as painful
Emilia also shares a special message for people who have lost pets and have been made to feel that their grief is invalid.
"If somebody also lost their dog... and they try to tell you, 'I know how you feel. I felt worse.' They don't know how you feel. Everybody has different emotions in their body, and they express them in different ways. Don't let anybody tell you that. Like, no, you don't know how I feel.
"This is hard. It's gonna be hard."
6. Don't stop believing in miracles
Everything happens for a reason, and Emilia says her dad told her something important before he died.
"Something my dad told me was if this doesn't work out the way he wanted it to and the way we wanted it to for him living, I still have to believe in miracles. Miracles can still happen, just later on in life, and they'll keep coming," she said.
Social media users praised Emilia's video message, with many saying they were touched by her "insightful wisdom".
Actress Rumer Willis was among the scores of people who left heartfelt messages for Emilia and her family. Her father, actor Bruce Willis, has dementia.
Bruce is known for movies such as 'Look Who's Talking', 'Die Hard', and 'The Fifth Element'.
"This is so profound and beautiful and such a testament to the incredible way you have raised your beautiful family," Rumer commented.
READ: 'Dawson’s Creek’ actor sells memorabilia to fight cancer
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Image credit: Instagram/Kimberly van der Beek