Do you thank your partner for washing the dishes?
A fed-up mom doesn't understand why her husband wants "recognition" when he does the dishes.
It's no secret that women often do more household chores than men, even when they both have jobs.
It often leads to resentment and arguments, but many men still refuse to clean up due to patriarchal traditions.
In some cases, they even expect a pat on the back for lifting a finger from time to time. Case in point: a Reddit user revealed that her husband wants recognition for doing the dishes.
"AITA for telling my husband I'm not going to thank him for doing basic household tasks?" she asked on a popular subReddit.
The 41-year-old woman has been married to a 39-year-old man for seven years. They have a four-year-old child.
She complained that she does most of the chores.
"Distribution of household tasks has never been great to the point where 2 years ago, even as I was working a 50 hr/ a week [job], I was still primarily the one doing laundry, cooking and doing dishes, child rearing, grocery shopping etc. even though I was working more hours," the woman wrote.
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The Redditor added that her husband doesn't contribute to household chores or child-rearing activities even when he is not working.
"Which brings us to the present: my husband took the day off work for a medical appointment and watched passively as I struggled to get my daughter out the door for school," she said.
"No offers for help even as I'm walking out the door, balancing my daughter's lunch box, leftover breakfast, my breakfast, a cup of coffee, and her school books in my hand while leaving."
After dropping their daughter off, she got a call from her husband.
"Next time you're going to cook breakfast in the morning can you make sure you at least clean the dishes or put them in the dishwasher when you're done?"
The woman was understandably upset. "I lose my s*** and yell at him."
"He then asks, 'I just want to make sure that if I do the dishes for you that you're going to acknowledge that I'm contributing and give me some recognition.'"
She thinks it is ridiculous that he wants praise and recognition for doing chores that she says should be shared labour.
However, she also recognises that positive reinforcement can help motivate him to help her out a bit more around the house.
"If he already feels underappreciated for the ways he does contribute, that's important to recognise and address, and maybe I am [at] fault for not wanting to do that."
"The other part of me is in full feminist rage over years of unseen labour, managing the entire mental load for everyone, the expectation that as a female I'm just supposed to do all of this with no recognition, while recognising my husband for doing the exact same things I've been doing," the mom wrote.
Her fellow Reddit users offered some advice. While some told her that her husband "sucks", many shared suggestions on how she can handle the situation.
"Give him a list of everything you do and rip it in half, and tell him the half you hand him is now his responsibility," one person replied.
Another user added, " Appreciation is only good if it is applied fairly and goes both ways. Otherwise, it’s used as a weapon."
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Image: iStock