7 Ways to get over your ex-boyfriend

7 Ways to get over your ex-boyfriend

Sometimes, all you need after a breakup is some TLC, Gloria Gaynor's 'I Will Survive' on repeat and a box of hair dye. 

Angry woman tears up picture of couple
File photo: iStock

One minute you are walking on cloud nine, and the next you are typing 'how to get over your ex' into a Google search.

Falling in love is one of the best feelings in the world, and falling out of love is one of the worst.

If you're going through a bad breakup, these seven tips will help you get over your ex-boyfriend. 

1. Put on some Kelly Clarkson

Step one: turn up the volume on your favourite breakup anthem. Listening to sad music after getting your heart broken is food for the soul. 

It's a proven fact that music can give your mental health a major boost. It not only uplifts your mood but it can also comfort you when you are going through a difficult period like a breakup. According to a 2011 study, music releases a chemical in the brain called dopamine, also known as the feel-good hormone.

The chemical plays an important role in how you feel. "In this study, levels of dopamine were found to be up to 9% higher when volunteers were listening to music they enjoyed," the BBC reported.

So put on some Kelly Clarkson, and sing your way to some healing. 

"Since you been gone/ I can breathe for the first time/ I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah/ Thanks to you/ Now I get, I get what I want."

The ultimate breakup playlist

  • Miley Cyrus - 'Flowers'
  • Kelis - 'Caught Out There' 
  • Destiny's Child - 'Survivor'
  • Kelly Clarkson - 'Since U Been Gone'
  • Taylor Swift - 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' 
  • Kelly Clarkson  - 'Stronger' 
  • Gloria Gaynor - 'I Will Survive'
  • Destiny's Child - 'Independent Women'
  • Selena Gomez - 'Lose You to Love Me'
  • Lauryn Hill - 'Ex-Factor'
  • Alanis Morissette - 'You Oughta Know'

2. To All the Boys I've Loved Before 

It's hard to tell people how you feel when you are going through a breakup, especially if you are getting over a cheating ex. Take a page out of Jenny Han's book, 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before', and write down your feelings. 

The book's main character, Lara Jean Song-Covey, writes secret letters to her crushes when she needs to move on. She pours her heart and soul into the letters, but never sends them. It's a way to say how you really feel without the fear of being judged or rejected. 

Get a pen and paper and write a letter addressed to your ex, and tell him everything - the good, the bad and the ugly. You can even type it in Word. 

When you're done, tear it into pieces or save the document so that you can read it when you want to connect with feelings you can't express to anyone. 

Just make sure your little sister doesn't accidentally email it to the person you're brokenhearted over! 

3. Put on your Princess Diana revenge dress

Princess Diana is remembered for many things - her kindness, charitable spirit and the iconic 'revenge dress' she wore in 1994 after her husband, Prince Charles, confessed to being unfaithful. 

The royal style icon wore an off-the-shoulder dress to a London gala and looked all kinds of amazing. Christina Stambolian designed the sexy black dress that became one of the best fashion moments in history. 

It's only a temporary fix to the problem, but putting on a little black dress and painting the town red can help you reclaim your main character energy after a breakup. 

4. Grab the scissors and some box dye 

Grab a pair of scissors. Not so you can become the star of Netflix's next 'true crime' documentary, but to give yourself the big chop. Thousands of women before you cut or died their hair after a breakup to symbolise a new beginning - a fresh start without their soul-sucking ex-boyfriend. 

On the plus side, bobs are back in season, so your new hairstyle will look more trendy than a sign of a mental breakdown. Get inspiration from bob-loving stars such as Khloé Kardashian, Lily Collins and Hailey Bieber

5. Words of affirmation

Don't underestimate the power of your words after a breakup. According to The Conversation, a 2025 study found "those who wrote personal positive affirmations twice daily reported better self-esteem after 15 days". 

Repeat after me:

You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important.

6. Give yourself time to grieve 

Some breakups feel like a death. You are mourning the loss of someone you probably thought you would spend the rest of your life with. 

Don't be too hard on yourself. You won't magically forget your ex after a day, so take time to grieve the love you once shared. But don't take too long crying on the bathroom floor. One box of tissues is far too many tears to cry over a man who has probably moved on already. 

7. Ask for help

When the heartbreak becomes unbearable, reach out to family and friends for help. If you're too embarrassed, contact a therapist to help you manage your emotions. 

There is no timeframe for how long it takes to get over a breakup. It could take weeks or months, but eventually a rainbow will appear on the other side of your dark clouds. 

Disclaimer: Relationship advice provided in this article is not a substitute for professional help and should not be used to diagnose or treat mental health problems. It is always advisable to consult with your doctor on any health-related issues.

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