Going through a divorce? Here's how intimacy with your spouse could affect your case
Could being intimate with your spouse after starting divorce proceedings actually affect your chances of getting divorced? Here is what the experts have to say.
Divorce can be an emotionally complicated process, and doesn't always mean the couple has stopped loving each other. While a couple may have decided to end their marriage, that does not necessarily mean all feelings or intimacy disappear overnight.
But could being intimate with your estranged spouse after starting divorce proceedings actually affect your chances of getting divorced?
A viral video by Georgia attorney Stephanie R Lindsey has sparked debate online after she warned about the potential legal consequences of being sexually intimate with your spouse during divorce proceedings.
According to Lindsay, in the state of Georgia, an application can be dismissed if a couple has been sexually intimate during the divorce proceedings and this information is brought before the court.
The video left people divided.
Some social media users questioned why intimacy between two married people should have such an impact on their decision to divorce, while others argued that resuming an intimate relationship could indicate that the couple may still want to save their marriage.
"I can agree with that! If you have sex, that means it's some unfinished business!!!"
"Crazy, why does the government determine if a couple can get divorced or not? This is crazy."
Should South Africa consider such a rule?
The viral debate raises an interesting question: Should South African courts consider intimacy between spouses during divorce proceedings as evidence that the couple may want to patch things up?
Or should the decision to divorce be based on the broader circumstances of the relationship rather than what happens between two consenting adults during the proceedings?
What do you think? Have your say in the poll below:
South African law
Nthabiseng Ngoepe, an attorney, author and director at Kgatla Incorporated law firm, says under the Divorce Act, the main ground for divorce is the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. This means the court must be satisfied that the relationship has reached a point where there is no reasonable prospect of restoring a normal marriage relationship.
However, she explains that getting a divorce is not necessarily an automatic process.
"There are several things that the court looks at before granting a divorce," Ngoepe explains.
She recalls assisting a couple who appeared in court wearing matching outfits. The unusual sight prompted the court to postpone the matter and send the couple home to reconsider their situation.
For Ngoepe, the incident illustrates how a couple's conduct and testimony can sometimes raise questions about whether the marriage has genuinely broken down.
She says there can also be situations where one spouse tells the court that the marriage itself is not necessarily the problem, but that there is a particular aspect of their partner’s behaviour that they want changed.
In such circumstances, the court may encourage the couple to address that issue rather than immediately proceed with the divorce.
Ngoepe says couples should think carefully before initiating divorce proceedings.
"It's very important that when people sign up for divorce, they must have thought thoroughly about it," she says.
She cautions against using divorce as a threat or filing when one is still uncertain about whether ending the marriage is what they genuinely want.
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