'I started feeling miserable': Pam Andrews reveals why she left 101
Singer and actress Pam Andrews has opened up about the real reason she left 101.
In the early 2000s, singing competitions like Coca-Cola Popstars introduced South Africa to a wave of undiscovered musical talent.
Among those thrust into the spotlight was Pam Andrews.
After winning the 2002 competition along with Erin Samson, Preston Sihlangu, Ntumiseng Mokhasipe and Kurt Herman, they formed the group 101.
The pop group quickly became a national phenomenon, enjoyed huge success, performed for screaming fans and enjoyed the perks of instant fame.
But just a year after winning the competition, the music started to fade for Andrews, who says she entered a dark season.
In an Instagram video, the former singer and actress revealed that she was struggling with depression and anxiety at the time, although she did not understand what was happening to her.
"For some reason I start feeling so miserable and so down, and I start feeling like life is over, and I don't know what's happening with me because I'm living the dream,” she recalls.
'I started hating being famous'
Reflecting on winning the competition, Andrews says it was a dream come true, particularly because she grew up on the Cape Flats.
However, despite seemingly having everything she prayed for, Andrews said she began feeling increasingly miserable.
"At the time I was staying in the Cape Flats, and I was very poor, with dreams to make it big in the industry. I loved being famous, and everyone in the group [was] amazing, but I [was] feeling down... I'm crying, but I'm not telling anyone because I'm ashamed."
At the time, Andrews was only 17 or 18 years old and says she did not know how to explain what she was experiencing. As her mental health struggles intensified, Andrews started distancing herself from the group.
“Every time I would go on a trip, it would just make me feel so much worse,” she says.
"I started hating being famous. I started hating being there, and I just wanted to be left alone.
"I didn't want to go to rehearsals anymore, and I slowly started pulling away from the group, and they didn't know what was going on with me."
She says the pressure of supporting her family financially made it difficult for her to simply walk away from the opportunity.
'I started cutting myself'
Andrews eventually reached a point where she began cutting herself. She recalls showing the injuries to her manager in the hope that someone would recognise that she was struggling, but said his response left her feeling even more alone.
"I started cutting myself on my arm... so I showed my manager the next day, and we were just about to do a big TV interview," she says.
"I showed him the blood marks...and he got so upset with me. He said, 'Cover it up; you're about to do an interview, and stop this nonsense!'
"I was young, and I didn't know what to do. I'm feeling so stuck and so lost, and I feel like I want to leave the group, but I can't leave because my family are depending on me."
'I felt like my life was over'
The situation became even darker when Andrews says she reached a point where she planned to take her own life. She recalls collecting pills from the bathrooms of the house where the group lived and taking them to her room, believing it was the only way out.
But just as she was about to take them, there was a knock at the door.
An EMI representative, whom Andrews says she had only spoken to a few times before, had unexpectedly come to visit her. She said the man noticed that something was wrong and offered to listen.
Andrews eventually told him that she was unhappy in the group and was considering leaving.
Andrews recalls him telling her: “If you want to leave, then leave because God brought you here. He brought you this far.”
For Andrews, those words became a turning point.
She said the unexpected visit ultimately prevented her from going through with her plan.
"That man saved my life. If he didn’t come to the house, I don’t know what would have happened," she says.
Shortly afterwards, Andrews attended a meeting with the group and producers, where the other members raised concerns about her lack of participation in rehearsals and other commitments.
When it was her turn to speak, she made the decision to leave 101.
"I have no idea what I'm going to do, but I just know that I need to leave. I'm extremely unhappy," she told producers.
Leaving 101, however, opened another door for Andrews.
Just a week after announcing her departure, she was approached about auditioning for a newly created character on the popular youth drama series 'Backstage'.
She landed the role of 'Frankie', marking the beginning of her acting career.
Andrews later played Gail October on 'Rhythm City' and appeared in other productions.
'I was always supposed to be an actress'
Looking back, Andrews believes leaving 101 was ultimately the best decision for her.
"I had to close that chapter in my life in order to open the other chapter," she says.
Andrews also revealed that she was diagnosed with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), a condition she says contributes to her depression and anxiety. She said she is currently receiving treatment and has become more open about her experiences.
For her, moving from the high-pressure world of pop stardom into acting provided a more stable environment that suited her better.
"I think I was always supposed to be an actress," she said.
Despite the difficult circumstances surrounding her departure, Andrews stressed that she remains grateful for her time in 101 and the opportunities the group gave her.
Watch the full video below.
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