83 schoolgirls sexually assaulted: We're all to blame
Updated | By Olivia Phalaetsile
I have to be honest. The sexual assault of dozens of young girls at a Johannesburg primary school failed to shock me.
Even though by Thursday, at least 83 schoolgirls have come forward.
The guard was hired by AB Xuma Primary School in Soweto for one reason only - to protect those on the school premises, including young and innocent children.
The epidemic of rape has become so bad that the successful prosecution of every rape would in all probability completely overwhelm our justice system.
So many sexual assault cases go unreported in this country. I won't bore you with the stats - but it's important for us as a society to stop pointing the fingers at others, such as police and school management, while at the same time absolving ourselves of blame.
When South Africans discuss the scourge of rape and sexual assault, everyone seems to think the prevention and response to this debilitating issue should only be the work of the criminal justice system.
But I have news for you. We all have a critical role to play.
The culture of rape, already so entrenched in this country, is made worse by our attitudes and conversations.
Just recently, poet and musician Ntsiki Mazwai did something profound. She revealed on Twitter that convicted rapist Sipho Ndlovu, better known as Brickz, also raped her.
As a rape victim myself, I found Mazwai's actions to be both tragic and phenomenal. Yet some on social media insisted on criticizing her, accusing her of seeking attention.
She was asked why she is only revealing the rape now. As if the timing matters! What was even more concerning was the many men and women who accused her of lying.
How can we still defend a man convicted of raping his niece? How on earth do we allow society to continue to fail rape victims and survivors by putting them on trial as if they are the perpetrators?
I was also raped by Brickz #BreakTheSilence pic.twitter.com/pJzKpAzuFp
— ntsikimazwai.com (@ntsikimazwai) October 6, 2017
Just before Mazwai spoke out, former radio host Redi Tlhabi released her book "Khwezi", which tells the story of President Jacob Zuma's rape accuser Fezekile Ntuskela Kuzwayo.
A phenomenal book, which speaks the truth of a woman who was ostracised and exiled for laying charges against a powerful man.
But Tlhabi also ended up on the wrong side of some on social media, accused of being part of a political ploy against Zuma. If the actions of this mob did not anger you, then I really have no idea why you are angered by the rape of 83 young girls.
A man asked me the other day: "How then do we deal with rape?" I told him rape is about power, and once you remove that power you remove the rape.
He seemed rather unsettled by my reply, stating that men need to control their sexual urges. I do not believe sexual urges are behind the rape of a woman of child.
Many people are raped by people close to them, including by their own parents.
Rape is ultimately about power. Those who rape make a decision to rape and exercise their power over someone who is in a vulnerable position. There is no sexual urge that compels them to do so.
The power our society has given men is appalling. And the continual denial of the existence of patriarchy will only continue to leave women, queer bodies, children and other men vulnerable to rape and abuse.
I am terrified to walk the streets of this country. I am even more terrified driving alone at night with my child, because the chances of getting raped and murdered are so high.
But what scares me even more is a society that keeps on shielding men who rape.
Our words have the power to perpetuate the culture of rape. It also has the power to bring it to an end.
Until we use this power, we cannot absolve ourselves of blame.
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