How to deal with your partner's friends or family over the holidays
You might love your partner but struggle to get along with their loved ones. Here is how you can handle holiday time with them more smoothly.
It is the holiday season, and that may mean spending an increased amount of time with your partner's friends and family.
For some, this is a blessing, but for others who do not get along with their partner’s friends or family, it can feel like a nightmare.
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If you relate to the latter, you're in luck because we are here to help.
Breakfast with Martin Bester compiled a list of ways to help you deal with your partner's friends and family over the holidays.
1. Plan carefully
Plan the holiday schedule together so you know exactly which gatherings, outings, or family traditions you are expected at.
This prevents surprises and last-minute stress.
2. Lay out expectations with your partner
Discuss holiday expectations early, such as gifts, travel times, sleeping arrangements, and how much time you will spend with their friends or family so you do not feel blindsided once the trip begins.
3. Practice empathy
Remember that holidays can amplify people's quirks.
Viewing their family or friends with empathy can help you avoid taking things personally during group activities or long days together.
4. Have a support system
If the holiday dynamics overwhelm you, check in with a trusted friend or therapist while away.
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Sometimes a quick reality check makes the rest of the trip easier.
5. Practice self-compassion
Holidays are intense. If you get irritated or need a moment alone, do not beat yourself up.
Take a quick breather and reset.
6. Talk to your partner about your concerns
Let your partner know what is uncomfortable for you on holiday.
They may not notice certain friend or family behaviours, and a simple conversation can make the trip smoother.
7. Set boundaries
If holiday events become too much, set limits such as how long you will stay, how often you will join group activities, or how much social time you can reasonably handle.
8. Get to know them better
Use holiday downtime, such as meals, games, or outings, to find small points of connection.
Even one shared interest can make the trip feel less awkward.
9. Agree to disagree
You will not align o everything with their family or friends.
Accept differences so you can enjoy the holiday without trying to change anyone.
10. Do not let it impact your relationship
Holiday stress is not a reflection of your partner.
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Keep communication open so tension with their friends or family does not spill into your relationship.
11. Seek out your own space and support
On holiday, take breaks such as going for a walk, reading, texting your own friends, or carving out solo time to stay grounded.
12. Do not gossip
If something bothers you during the trip, address it with your partner calmly.
Talking behind someone’s back during the holiday only intensifies tension.
13. Keep an open mind
Holidays can show people at their best and their worst.
Stay open to the possibility that you may get along better with their friends or family in a relaxed setting.
14. Focus on the positive
Look for small positives, such as someone helping with cooking, planning outings, or making an effort to include you.
It helps the trip feel lighter.
15. Give yourself grace
Not clicking with everyone on holiday is normal.
You are not doing anything wrong. High-togetherness situations are challenging for most people.
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