How to not be lonely when you're alone on Valentine's Day
Being alone on Valentine's Day is nothing new and nothing to be ashamed of.
It's that time of the year when love is in the air.
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The reality is that many people find themselves living the single life when Valentine's Day rolls around.
Unfortunately, pop culture, media and most people still believe that being single on V-Day means you are sad, should join a lonely hearts club and stuff your face with ice cream and chocolates.
Or that single people hate Valentine's Day.
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While two things can be true at once, many people not only enjoy being single on Valentine's Day but also choose to do it.
In 2020, a report from the Pew Research Center found that most Americans don't want to be coupled up, ever.
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Based on a national, random sampling of nearly 5,000 adults in the U.S.:
- 50% of single people are not interested in a committed romantic relationship or any dates.
- 10% want only casual dates.
- 26% would be interested in casual dates or a committed romantic relationship.
- 14% are looking only for a serious romantic relationship.
A study from six years ago might not be very convincing, but the trend has persisted.
More people are actively choosing to stay single and lead very happy and fulfilled lives.
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Psychologist Dr Bella DePaulo has made it her lifelong mission to study the joys of singledom and to dismantle the persisting idea that single women are miserable.
In a 2026 interview, DePaulo says, "those who are single by choice get to live according to their own values and interests, allowing them to follow their hearts."
They often have what psychologists and philosophers call a ‘psychologically rich life’. That means an interesting life full of unique experiences that give them opportunities to grow and to learn.
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Her research shows that single people who actively choose to be single are not only happier than those in relationships, but that over time “they get happier and happier”, because you are less likely to be lonely when you savour your solitude instead of fearing it
People who are single at heart embrace their solitude. They find it enriching rather than scary. So time alone might be experienced as relaxing or a good time for reflection or creativity. When you savour your solitude instead of fearing it, you are less likely to be lonely.
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Have we also considered that many couples are "alone" on Valentine's Day due to work, long-distance relationships, or other obligations or situations?
If you're single, you can hate Valentine's Day, and you're also allowed to change your opinion on it when you do find your person.
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Being alone on this one day of the year doesn't have to mean that you feel lonely.
And if you are a little sad about it, that's okay, too.
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Whether you are looking for a distraction or want to embrace it, here are a few ideas for a different kind of V-Day.
1. Try a recipe you've had saved forever and never get around to for a solo meal or a friendly dinner party.
2. Or take yourself out for dinner and order everything you want without any shame. (Extra win: leftovers).
3. Take inspiration from Leslie Knope ('Parks and Recreation') and plan a Galentine's Day, which can be anything you want it to be.
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4. Pamper yourself with a spa day or a self-care day at home, complete with all the lush, luxurious extras.
5. Listen to your favourite podcast or radio show - these forms of media were made to make everyone feel included and a part of the conversation.
6. Read your favourite romance novel. Or any genre of book that helps you escape from reality for a little while.
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7. Retail therapy isn't always the answer, but this is the exception. Why shouldn't you be able to treat yourself? Or if you aren't big on shopping, groceries, or gifts for others could also work.
8. Call your mom, dad, sister, brother, best friend or anyone you want to catch up with and celebrate love in all forms.
9. Spoil your pets or spend the day volunteering at a shelter. Nothing feels as good as a dog or cat freaking out about you and giving you all their affection.
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10. Go on an adventure! You don't have to wait for the "right" partner to come along before experiencing the thing you've always wanted to do.
11. Create a vision board. It's a great way to get creative, get crafty, and help you visualise what you want to achieve in 2026.
12. Or write a letter to your future self. It can be as serious or silly as you want it to be.
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13. Focus on your goals for 2026 or readjust, reset and recenter if you feel like you've lost your way.
14. Do some spring/summer/pre-winter cleaning and do those things around the house that you've "been meaning to get to", because your environment can have a massive impact on your mental health.
15. Don't go on social media. Doomscrolling and wasting hours on social media won't make anyone feel better, and we all know the holes we can fall into after seeing one post or one video.
Take a break - everything will still be there tomorrow
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16. Have a solo movie marathon you control, from snacks to movie selection.
17. Take that class that you've also been postponing so you can focus on something else while also learning a new skill or doing something you enjoy.
18. Hibernate and do absolutely nothing. If your kind of reset involves staying in bed and doing nothing, that's perfectly fine. Why leave the comfort of your bed or home if you don't want to?
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19. Have a regular day - because the only person putting pressure on you is you, and you don't have to do anything you don't want to.
Maybe you just need a very normal, very regular day.
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