Dealing with gaslighting in a relationship

Dealing with gaslighting in a relationship

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. Here is how to spot the signs of gaslighting and how to deal with it.

Couple arguing
Couple arguing /iStock

Gaslighting makes you doubt your views and understanding of reality. It makes you question your sanity and makes you also question your beliefs and perception of reality.

It has been described as a form of emotional abuse. 

People who are in relationships where gaslighting takes place may begin to question their own judgment and have their self-esteem damaged.

The perpetrator of the abuse seldom wants to take blame for the wrong he/she did and might instead shift blame to you. This will cause them to sweep things under the carpet and not apologise for their wrong doing.  

READ: Three celebrities who survived love bombing

The abuser might also overlook your feelings and call you too sensitive when you express your hurt. He or she might also scoff at your recollection of events and twist events. 

Their behaviour might even affect your own and you might find yourself doing things to attain their love. You might also find yourself feeling apologetic and tiptoeing around the partner or refrain from confronting wrongdoing.

Victims of gaslighting might find themselves feeling like there is nothing that they do right. They might behave hesitantly around their partner. 

They may also struggle with a great level of self-doubt, questioning whether they are crazy, questioning whether they are overly sensitive, and questioning whether they are the issue. They might also begin to lose their identity. 

The victims might also have a sense that something isn’t right, but trying to show their partner the wrongs would be a futile exercise. This can result in an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and sadness. 

Gaslighting might also make you begin to isolate yourself or make you lose your identity or no longer enjoy doing your hobbies. 

The sad reality is that being in a relationship with a partner that is gaslighting results in some people suffering from anxiety and depression. 

It is therefore crucial to seek help from a professional, especially when you love your partner and don't want to end the relationship. The professional counsellor will help you set up boundaries and deal with gaslighting better so that it doesn't damage your self worth.

READ: Expert explains how financial abuse can happen in a relationship

Image courtesy of iStock/ @Drazen Zigic

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