Expert tips on how to have a good relationship with your in-laws
Puleng March, the founder of ‘Makoti Enkosini’, has tips on how to have a good relationship with your in-laws and spouse.
Getting married is very exciting. Although many people might hope to live happily ever after, that is not always the case. Marriage takes hard work, perseverance and has a lot of ups and downs.
Being married also means you become a part of your spouse’s family. With all the in-law stories that we often hear or the high rate of divorce, it’s only natural that newlyweds might feel nervous about the new journey of marriage.
But Puleng March, who has been running ‘Makoti Enkosini’ workshops around the country, believes with the right counsel and support, marriage can work and the relationship with in-laws can also be good.
She goes around Africa offering couples advice on how to better their marriages and their relationship with their in-laws.
The mother-of-two, who has been married for ten years, says what motivated her to start ‘Makoti Enkosini’ was seeing so many broken marriages.
“I asked myself: ‘What can I, Puleng, do to better marriages?”
Her question led her to what she believes is her calling - to restore marriages.
Talking about her “Makoti Enkosini” workshops, she says “I invite women who have gone through different things in life to share their testimonies and we build each other up as women,” says Puleng.
In her workshops, women of different ages and from different walks of life talk about their experiences and give their advice. Puleng even holds counselling sessions with women who need it.
“To this day, I’m surprised at how successful it is turning out to be. I see the hand of God at every event," Puleng says.
When it comes to improving relationships with in-laws, Puleng says the secret is in loving your in-laws, and always striving to maintain peace.
“When you love people, they can tell. So, love your in-laws and work hard to maintain a good relationship with them,” says Puleng.
She also cautions against always concentrating on their wrongs or faults and says it’s not wise to repay evil for evil.
“Do good, and the rest will fall into place” says Puleng.
On what it takes to build a healthy marriage, Puleng has the following tips:
- Never compare your spouse to others or attack his or her ego. Don’t ever bad-mouth your partner or humiliate them, especially in public” says Puleng.
Instead, she says there should be mutual respect between spouses.
- Even though there will be arguments and disagreements in marriage, Puleng says “don’t make the mistake of assuming that your spouse is always the one in the wrong and never think your spouse is your enemy. Don’t treat them like an enemy.”
- Puleng warns against fighting in front of children, which she says will do a lot of harm to them.
“Don’t fight in front of your children, because even after you have fixed issues, they may never forget what they experienced,” says Puleng.
She also cautions against “using your children to fight your battles”.
-Lastly, she says “be careful of the people you bring into your house, be it friends or even your family members. Also, be careful of who you surround yourself with and what you look at,” she concludes.