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Red flags: signs that you should not be getting married

Before committing to marriage, ensure that you are making the right decision.

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Before committing to marriage, ensure that you are making the right decision. Don’t ignore the red-flags and live in regret later.

Marriage should not be entered into lightly. You must ensure that not only are you ready but that your partner is the right one.

Let’s look at red flags that could indicate that you aren’t ready for marriage.

If you aren’t happy
Your happiness shouldn’t depend on anyone else. If you are unhappy and feel you need to find someone else to make you happy, then you probably need to work on yourself first before committing to someone else.
Getting married does not guarantee that you will be happy and content. True happiness comes from within.

If you are selfish
In marriage you will have to share your space, your time, and almost everything that you have. There is no room for selfishness. If you don’t like sharing, marriage might not be for you.

If you find it hard to commit
Are you one of those people who gets bored by people easily and finds it hard to commit to a relationship? Then you probably shouldn’t be getting married.

Marriage is a union that requires commitment. Unlike when you are dating, you cannot simply walk in and out of marriage.

When your motive for getting married is wrong
People get married for all sorts of reasons. If you want to get married because of sex, money, status, pressure or any other thing besides love, then you should probably not tie the knot.

Your reason for wanting to get married should be based on love. If there is anything besides love that is motivating you to get married, you might be setting yourself up for failure.

When your partner shows signs of abuse
Even if you love your partner, getting married to an abusive person will leave you feeling miserable in marriage.

Remember that abuse is not only physical. If your partner gives you verbal threats, frequently criticizes, shames and bullies you, he may be abusing you emotionally.

The last thing you want is to be in an abusive marriage. It will only rob you of enjoying your life to the fullest.

When you don't feel safe in the relationship
If you ever feel like you are not entirely secure and that your partner can leave you anytime, then you probably shouldn’t be getting married. Never should one ever feel unsafe in a relationship.

If your partner is not ready to commit
Never pressure your partner into marriage. It must be a decision that comes from him to ensure that he will be committed to making the marriage work.

You also don't want to find yourself wondering if he married you because he really wanted to, or because you forced him into making the decision.

When you have to compete for your partner’s attention and love
If someone loves you, you will not have to compete for their attention. He will make you feel that you matter and that you are special. The minute you feel you don’t come first or that you don’t really matter to your partner, chances are your partner may not be loving you the way you deserve to be loved. You don’t want to carry on in life not being sure of whether you are loved or not.

When you don’t enjoy your partner’s company
Ever heard the saying ‘good friends make great lovers’? It’s true.
You want to get married to someone you enjoy being with. If you can’t stand your partner, and little things about him annoy you, maybe he is not the one.

When it just feels wrong
Don’t ignore your gut feeling. Nature has a way of warning us of dangers that lie ahead. If your heart tells you not to get married, you should wait until when you feel at peace with the decision.

ALSO READ: Living together before marriage: Good or bad idea?

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