All Jayde Panayiotou longed for was to be loved by her husband

State Prosecutor Marius Stander read out a heart-breaking letter which indicated how lonely the school teacher was eight months before her death in April 2015.

The Port Elizabeth businessman is alleged to have orchestrated his wife's kidnapping and subsequent murder last year.

"All that I have ever wanted is to be loved fully and completely. That when we are in a crowded room, I am all that he can see. To look at me like I am a walking version of perfection."

Jayde's mother Michelle held tight onto her husband and cried inconsolably when the words were read. Jayde's sister Toni also became emotional.

The letter reveals that Jayde felt "jealous" seeing people living the life that she so "desperately" longed to have.

"I want a normal life, a husband that comes home at a normal time, has a normal job and makes time for his wife and family, somebody he doesn't hide or cover up. Always respects and puts his wife first. Can understand and see how having all the money in the world is not as important as building a life with his wife."

Jayde's letter shows how she had to "compete" to be with Christopher or "be seen by him". She longed to live a happy normal life and to be the "apple of my husband's eye".

"Why does he hide so much from me and why is it impossible to communicate with him? Why do I feel like I constantly need to compete to be with him or be seen by him? Why will he never apologise when he is wrong? Why did he break his promise to me? Why do I live the life I have always vowed I would never live? Why do I feel the way I thought I would never feel?"

"I feel as though I no longer have a heart, it is torn and shredded…" she wrote.

It is alleged Panayiotou paid Luthando Siyoni, a bouncer at his Infinity night club, to hire hitman Sizwezakhe Vumazonke to kidnap and murder Jayde.

The state alleges that Sinethemba Nenembe assisted the alleged hitman Vumazonke to kidnap and kill Jayde, allegedly at the behest of her husband. - ANA