Pulane was inspired by this video below
Carmen Cairncross from the Workzone who also supports Pulane's call for women to take their self worth seriously.
Beautiful or Average by Carmen Cairncross
August is known as women's month in South Africa because of a group of brave women who marched and made their voices known, standing up for women's rights. As a young woman today, of course I am eternally grateful to now have the right to vote, have equal opportunities and voice my opinions. That being said, I can't help but be painfully aware of the silent discrimination and criticism we receive on a daily basis, starting from the time we're old enough to see what's beautiful and what's not. This discrimination shockingly doesn't come from political or societal laws, but mostly comes from ourselves.
Yes! I said it. The phrase we so often shy away from or might dismiss if we were describe ourselves.
So, how do you define beauty?
What's the first thing that jumps to mind when you think of that word?
I'm not even going to look at a dictionary definition, because that would be like expecting a hundred different women to all fit into a dress labelled "one size fits all".
That's just it! There is no one size that fits all! And that, the fact that we're all so wonderfully different and varied is exactly what I believe makes us beautiful.
Now you might be thinking this sounds like the oldest cliché, but,
I invite you to take a moment and really think about that. As women we constantly compare ourselves to our counterparts. We compare ourselves to our friends, our sisters, our colleagues, and worst of all, compare ourselves to movie stars, models, singers and celebrities. I have nothing against these women in the lime light and on big screens, but what you must understand is that, nine times out of ten the image of beauty or "perfection" they portray is not true. And I'm sure even they themselves would admit that they have the money, the time, the dieticians, stylists, make-up artists and plastic surgeons to help get them there, the list is endless. Unfortunately for those women the standard of beauty they have to strive toward is a standard so shallow and unrealistic, that I think they themselves lose sight of what's important. Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with looking after and beautifying ourselves, in fact we should. I'm love fashion, make-up, eating healthy and exercising. But my point is, we cannot look to Hollywood or any external man-made standard and see it as the Holy Grail.
Beauty re - defined
"The essence of a woman is Beauty. She is meant to be the incarnation -our experience in human form - of a Captivating God." - Captivating Stasi Eldredge
I want to challenge you even further within this idea of beauty.
In a society saturated with placing emphasis on women's external appearance, it's hard to think of beauty as anything other than the external. Yes, a woman's body, face, hair etc. is beautiful and has been celebrated since the beginning of time, it's that amazing! But when we talk about a women's self - worth and identity, surely we can't settle for a skin deep definition. So then, what is it that makes us beautiful and gives us our self - worth? It's simply the fact that you are women. That's it! Nothing else. No matter what age, shape, race or ethnicity you are. No matter what kind of hair, skin, body shape, nails, eyes or lashes you have. The true essence of a woman is Beauty. When we buy an "essence" of a product in store, it's the true substance and aroma that is extracted and added to recipes to give of its essence. So if we were to peel back the layers like the labels stuck on you, the names people have called you, and we were to extract the very core of what you're made out of, we would have beauty in its essence. It's the way you were created.
I hope, now that you've been made aware of your internal essence, that you will give less worry and striving to attain whatever idea of beauty the world has placed upon you.
True beauty is knowing who you are, Who's you are and being at rest in that knowledge, and that, no - one can take away from you!
Happy women's month!
The one thing that determines how we feel about ourselves
What is self worth?
Dictionary definition: the sense of one's own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect.
Value and worth is something that is taught. It is something that we learn from our mothers from a small age. The way she treats herself and the way she treats you, gives you direction on how you treat yourself, and what you think about yourself.
But, because the world is not a perfect place, most of us grow up with a huge gap when it comes to self worth. Like those who are abused. Those who go through life being told that they are worthless? The women who think that they deserve to be abused, they deserve to be bullied. On top of all of that, the media doesn’t help, because doesn’t matter what you do you will never look like the supermodel in the magazine. I have, many questions but no solutions. If I think of the current situation of woman and child abuse in the world, then I realise, yes we can try to make the men stop. But unfortunately they aren’t necessarily going to. So then it lies with us as women.
We must go back to the core of who we are as women and stand up for what right. We can only do that if we believe that we are worth it. So how do we do it? There has to be another way to teach young girls, teenagers self worth so that when they step into womanhood they know that they deserve the best. More than what they always got, they never have to go back to what they had because they are worth better.
All this thinking about self worth came to me when someone very close to my heart was in an abusive relationship for two years. Two years and she thought that it was ok that she gets treated like garbage. 2 years of absolute fear, two years where she didn’t have a voice. Somehow logic just went out the window and telling me or anyone close to her wasn’t an option. She started believing what she was told by this man, she started believing that what he is doing is what she deserves. Only after we found out and we got her out, she realised that that is what she has always thought about herself. She has never thought of herself as beautiful, worthy, strong or independent.
So I want to know, how do you teach someone self worth? And what can we do as women, as a sisterhood to know what we are worth and to pass that on to generations to come?
How do we fall into a routine of abuse and act like its ok? It’s not ok.
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