How long should bedroom antics last? Experts weigh in...

How long should bedroom antics last? Experts weigh in...

Years ago, Sting shocked the world when he revealed that a bedroom session with his wife lasted for seven hours. Here is what different experts have to say about the average duration of love-making.

Young couple intimate relationship on bed
Young couple intimate relationship on bed/ iStock

There is always a debate about how long love-making should last. 

There are also so many products on the market that are aimed at helping couples enjoy longer sessions in the bedroom.

In 2014, singer Sting spoke about his marathon in the bedroom. 

“If we had seven hours I would demonstrate,” Sting told TV host James Lipton. 

“The idea of tantric sex is that sex is a spiritual act. I don’t know of a purer and better way of expressing love for another individual."

READ: Is it possible to love someone romantically but not be sexually attracted? 

However, research by Penn State University published in 2018 says satisfactory sexual intercourse should last for minutes and not hours.

Satisfactory sexual intercourse for couples lasts from three to 13 minutes, contrary to popular fantasies about the need for hours of sexual activity, according to a survey of US and Canadian sex therapists.

The research was based on a survey that interviewed "50 full members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, which include psychologists, physicians, social workers, marriage/family therapists and nurses who have collectively seen thousands of patients over several decades".

The experts said the "adequate" time is from three to seven minutes; "desirable" duration is from seven to 13 minutes, and "too short" is from one to two minutes, while "too long" is from 10 to 30 minutes.

"Unfortunately, today's popular culture has reinforced stereotypes about sexual activity. Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy model of large penises, rock-hard erections and all-night-long intercourse. This seems a situation ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction," said lead author Eric Corty, associate professor of psychology.

"With this survey, we hope to dispel such fantasies and encourage men and women with realistic data about acceptable sexual intercourse, thus preventing sexual disappointments and dysfunctions," he added.

READ: Cassper Nyovest on men sleeping with "every attractive woman" they meet

Another expert, Paula Quinsee, a relationship coach, author, and speaker, said couples should know that each relationship is unique.

"Intimacy and sex are different for each person and therefore there is no one-size-fits-all approach, but rather what feels comfortable for you and what works for you with where you are at in your life stage, relationship, and lifestyle," Quinsee told Jacaranda FM. 

"The worst thing you can do is compare your relationship to that of others," added Quinsee.

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