Is it right to move in with your partner but refuse to pay towards their mortgage?

Poll: Is it right to move in with your partner but refuse to pay towards their mortgage?

This Reddit user is refusing to pay towards her boyfriend's mortgage because she claims if their relationship doesn't work out, she would get nothing out of it. Do you agree with her decision? 

Young couple
Young couple /iStock

Some couples choose to co-habit before getting married. 

But this decision comes with a lot to consider. For this one Reddit user, the hardest decision for her to make is whether or not she should help pay the mortgage bond on her partner's property. 

The woman says she is currently renting a place, but is contemplating moving in with her partner whom she has been dating for three years. She wrote that the decision came after the two of them decided that they wanted to take their relationship to the next level. 

However, she says the challenge is that the partner wants her to help him pay his mortgage. 

"My BF (33M) and I (29F) have been dating for 3 years. He owns a house and lives there by himself. I live in an apartment by myself. We've talked about moving in together as that's the logical next step in our relationship and we both want to do it. But I have some hang-ups related to moving into a house that I don't have any stake in. I am refusing to pay any money that would go directly towards his mortgage. I don't have any stake in the house, why would I contribute to his mortgage payments?" she wrote on Reddit

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The user says she doesn't mind helping the boyfriend with other bills, just as long as it is not the mortgage. Her biggest fear is that if  they break up, she would have thrown money down the drain. 

"I'm ok helping with utilities, groceries, household items, etc. But paying his mortgage is a hard no from me. I just don't think it makes any sense for me to pay towards his mortgage when I would get nothing from that if we were to break up. His argument is that I would essentially be living with him for free and it would cause an uneven dynamic in our payment towards shared living expenses. Which, I kind of get, but at the same time he's the one benefitting from paying down the mortgage and gaining equity, not me. 

"He also argued that his mortgage is pretty much exactly what I was paying in rent, so by cutting that in half I am saving a lot of money on living costs compared to living on my own. Which, yeah, that's nice too, but legally it's still not my house."

The lady says she gave the partner a condition that they sign an agreement that if they break-up, he will pay back the money she contributed towards his mortgage. 

"I told him the only way I would pay money for "rent" is if he signs a contract with me stating that any money I pay towards his mortgage will be paid back to me, by him, in the event that we break up. It would also allow me protection from eviction and other basic tenant rights, similar to a rental agreement. He is refusing to sign anything like that because, in his words, I could break up with him for no reason and then take him to court for thousands of dollars. Which, I suppose is true but I wouldn't just break up with him for no reason," she wrote on Reddit. 

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