A mom's survival guide to exams

To my surprise - I still do it in October. Not because I'm still struggling through my studies or because as a grown woman I would like my cupboards to be neat come Christmas. No, for the past two years that's how I've learnt to cope with my son writing final exams!

If you have a learner in the house, you know what I mean. It's not only stressful on the student - exam time takes its toll on the whole household.  The student is on edge and acts up for no reason, the sibling wants extra attention, Dad can't understand why he isn't allowed to watch his sports channel as loud as he always does and Mom ….. well …… Mom has to juggle like never before.

I'm by no means an expert in this, but I have found some tips that might be helpful to other moms who have just nodded at least once while reading the first three paragraphs.

1. Be prepared

Make sure you get the exam schedule the moment it's available and pin it to the fridge or that wall in your kitchen that's usually plastered with the month's notices and reminders. Now you know the magnitude of the beast heading your way. I also take a photo and keep it on my cellphone.

2. Work with your child in setting up a schedule 

Work with your child in setting up a schedule to map out when will he / she study what. This usually leads to a mini-missile crisis in our house because I have a son who needs some prodding into admitting this is actually his exam schedule! But I have to say once we've cleared this hurdle, it's much easier for the two of us to ride out this storm. 

Class of 2017: 'The ball is now in your court'

3. Stock up on snacks

I don't know about your student, but mine loves to nibble on protein while studying. Biltong, dried wors, nuts, salami sticks, cheese, even yoghurt with popping candy - if it makes me a better mom during exam time, I buy it. And let's be honest, anything to make us better moms when the stress levels rise ……. Buy in big bulk - three yoghurts for the price of two so that the exam price tag doesn't leave you choking before the Christmas gift list.

4. Count your words

Let me set the scenario for you:

Me: "How was the Math paper today?"

Aidan: "It wasn't that bad. They did ask the angles and I think I got most of them right."

Me: "Well, did you get them right or not? Was it easy or not? You spent so much time studying the angles. What did they ask that you didn't know? What are the other kids saying? Did you try and find out afterwards? Did you go over your answers before you handed in the paper?"

DON'T DO THAT. I've learned the hard way. The moment a paper is finished, it's just that - finished. Nothing you can do about it. Keep calm and look ahead. It doesn't help you or your child if you cause any anxiety and ponder on answers he might not have given. Take a deep breath, swallow those words, resist the urge and ask "Are we ready for the next one?"

Matric pupils feeling the pressure ahead of final exams

5. Get your head right

Remember the natural calming drops. For you. Take them. Phone your friends who are also suffering through mom-of-a-final-exam-student syndrome. Go for a coffee date. Lie in your favourite bath oil. Read your book. If you are a stressed baker like me, measure the flour and create. Whatever it takes for you to stay sane. That analogy that I could never understand, now makes sense - the one where they say "Should the cabin pressure drop in the aeroplane, put your mask on first before you help your child." I always thought that is just nonsense - no way I will see to my own welfare first before I attend to my child. But I now get it. If my head is not in the right space, my son will struggle more. Mom sets the pace. She is the Personal Assistant to the student. She runs the show. The child who swims through the exam storm, is the one who's learnt at home how to navigate the rough seas. 

So, put on your captain's hat, Mom, and take on the waves. We can do this.